Freddy and the Blowfish 3: Musical Chairs
by PelicanSlut66642069
Summary: Freddy and his gang of hooligans are back for another awful pile of shit, what happens when Freddy and Company realize that no one poops their pants at them no more? Who's to blame for the dulling of the kids' senses?
1. Chapter 1

It's been 3 years since Sasuke and Sonic fought in the parking lot of Freddy Fazbear Pizzeria. Mike Schmidt eventually went from the pants pissing job of security guard all the way to manager of that store, but once Schmidt became manager, he envisioned it to be something else. In those 3 years, Schmidt closed down the pizzeria and re-opened to the Freddy Fazbear Horror Show, his aim was to use his best buddies the animatronics: Freddy, Chica, Bonnie and Foxy, to become the hip new scary things, and it worked pretty well if I do say so myself.

"I know we've been scaring kids for a year now, but for the sake of the story I'm going to say I like this job more after a year." Bonnie said, having no care for the fourth fucking wall.

"Yeah, I feel you dude" said Freddy, "I hope we have this job forever!"

That last word echoed for a long ass while.

"Forever!"

"Forever!"

"Forever!"

"Forever! Jesus Christ how many more times must I say it?" Freddy asked me.

"That was the last one but you ruined the take so re-do it."

"Just repeat one of the last ones, aren't we already over budget?"

"Google docs and are free, let's it make the best free story these people have ever read."

"Forever!"

 **-Cut to the future, 2015-**

The future is very dark, it's also currently 10:35 pm everywhere, in 2015 there is now a universal time-zone. The Horror Show is losing profit, no one's scared of the animatronics anymore, but why?

"Why?" asks Springtrap, fresh meat in the animatronic business

"Look guys" Schmidt said to the animatronics, "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to lay you guys off, all the new fangled popular let's players are making everyone used to all our jumpscares."

"Fuck that" Bonnie signaled to Foxy and Foxy ripped off Schmidt's frontal lobe, no one poured one out for the dead homie because well, he wasn't a homie anymore.

Springtrap investigates Schmidt's office, hoping to find some cash, but instead he found something more promising, he found Schmidt's CD case, in 2015, he had a CD case.

"Look at these fossils" Springtrap said, he sifted through them, they were mainly Naruto soundtracks and the occasional Little Richard song, but he found the best CD of them all.

"I'm honestly not surprised" Springtrap found Nickelback's 2005 album "All the Right Reasons," he decides to give it a listen, see if the band really is that bad as people say.

Springtrap puts the CD in the CD songifier thing, and it starts steaming up and shaking violently!

"Oh shit, Mike's gonna be really mad! Aw fuck it the dude's a dead ass bitch anyway" Springtrap comes to his sense, but before he can say one more thing, he's transported to 1994!


	2. Chapter 2

The scene is 1994, it looks the exact same as 2015.

Springtrap falls on the ground and wonders where he is.

"I wonder where I am" He said.

Springtrap notices that the Fazbear Horror Show is attracting in kids of all ages!

"This can't be real" He continues to speak to himself, he then finds one of those public calendars and notices it's 1994!

"Holy Smokes! Now's the perfect opportunity to save the business!" Springtrap "springs" forward...get it because his name has SPRING in it like the season, anyway he does the verb I previously said and goes to the past versions of the animatronics.

"Finally I get a golden version of myself" Bonnie proclaims as he notices Springtrap

"Now where's mine?" Chica asks

"Dumbass you already gold" Bonnie retorts

"Look guys I'm from the future and this place will lose profit because of let's players on YouTube it's a website from the future like me I'm from the future let's go kill the let's players so this shit never happens." Springtrap says really fast

"Yeah that sounds like that would happen I believe you 100%, let's go kill some nerd butt" Freddy says.

The gang go to their first target: Smosh, the animatronics are spying into their window

"Weird, I didn't expect it Smosh to still look like they're still 28 in 1994" Springtrap exclaims.

"It must be the let's play of youth I've heard all the kids say" Foxy says, although Foxy typically spouts bullshit so no one believes him.

"These two are only one of five let's players we have to beat the shit out of so we gotta split up" Springtrap tells the group, and Chica begins to stand.

"I'll take on these fucks" Chica slowly walks to the house

Anthony and Ian are playing the new hit game of 1994, Pulp Fiction: The Game, when the doorbell rings.

They open the door to see Chica in a pizza delivery outfit

"Here's your pizza dudes!" Chica gestures the box towards them

"We didn't order any pizza, but pizza has never betrayed my delicate trust" Ian is quite excited.

"Check what's on it" Anthony tells Ian, he opens the box, there's no pizza, only the words "you're fucked now"

Chica pounces toward the group and they scream like banshees, and the little girly banshee kind at that.

"What the fuck are you man?" Anthony asks trying to keep Chica away from him while Ian is trying to pull Chica away.

"I know your plan you fucks" Chica says, "you're trying to ruin my horror show by making let's plays of Five Nights at Freddy's"

"What?" Ian asks, "First of all we haven't even started SmoshGames yet, it's only 1994"

"Yeah" Anthony adds, "and we haven't even started Smosh yet"

Ian continues "and we're technically 7 years old but in this story's universe we're still 28 but hey who's counting am I right guys?" Ian holds up his hand, hoping one of the two high-fives him, and they both do at the same time.

Chica and Anthony's eyes lock in disgust and Chica uses this time to grab both Ian and Anthony at once, twirls them around like they are dainty pieces of rope and throws them out the window, it's the ground floor, but Anthony and Ian are still majorly fucked up from it because Chica is a boss girl power!

"Look you creepy chicken!" Anthony spouts with the last of his energy

"You should murder the SmoshGames people, here's all their personal information"

Anthony hands over conveniently made cards with every piece of information of the SmoshGames dudes you could have ever asked for.

"Alright cool thanks bye" Chica still kills them because they didn't accept her non existant pizza right away, bad pizza etiquette guys c'mon.

Chica radios in on her built-in radio that can only ever be used to advance the plot

"I got the Smosh dudes, they're more done than a chicken dinner" Chica begins to have PTSD induced flashbacks of her parents, she pours one out for the cooked homies.


	3. Chapter 3

Now that Chica has fucked up Smosh, it's time for Bonnie's targets.

Bonnie slowly walks up to the very large compound, and enters, it's eerily quiet and no sight of anyone. He continues to explore the building, and begins to hear faint screaming, followed by faint shouting. Searching for the source, he finds a closed door with light peering under the door frame, and knocks on the door.

The door opens, and Michael from Rooster Teeth's head pokes out, not seeing anyone, becomes confused.

"Who the fucks out there I swear to god" Michael walks out and Bonnie emerges from the shadows!

"Ooga booga motherfucker"

"Alright, real funny, who the fuck's in there? Geoff? Burnie?" Michael is unphased.

"I beg your pardon" Bonnie's scare boner has gone flaccid.

"Where did you find this man? This shit looks awesome."

"Micoo!" Gavin screams "I think it's real!"

Michael realizes the situation and him and Gavin run from Bonnie, cue the Benny Hill Music.

Michael and Gavin are starting to lose their stamina, Bonnie, becoming a fucking machine will never stop.

Michael then pushes Gavin into Bonnie and Bonnie rips Gavin into two. Michael pours one out for the dead homie

"You were a right piece of shit anyway"

"Oh come on! What the fuck Michael?" Geoff emerges from the shadows

"There goes half of our views dude" Geoff is angry at Michael

"He was still a piece of shit anyway"

"Yeah you right" Geoff understands Michael's decision, but Bonnie grabs Geoff and takes a giant fucking bite of his arm.

"The fuck? This tastes awful" Bonnie spits out the arm

"Yeah bitch, tattoo ink doesn't taste very well, huh?" Geoff then dies from blood loss, I expect those will be his last words, engraved on his tombstone.

Michael continues to run from Bonnie, he hides around a corner.

"I wonder if the writer will help me in the plot"

A sword is mantled right next to Michael

"Coolio" (not the wrap DON'T sue me please)

Michael takes the sword, goes into full Mogar mode and stabs Bonnie in the eye

"Alright bitch really?" Bonnie is really mad

"Those don't come fucking cheap you know"

Michael is attempting to pull the sword out of Bonnie but it's too late Bonnie's got you BITCH

Ray walks in.

"I'm glad I quit" Ray leaves.

Bonnie radios in to the rest of the group

"The mad one and the loud one are dead, I'm gonna join the circus though because I'm a cyclops looking motherfucker now."


	4. Chapter 4

Freddy begins his quest.

Freddy enters the compound and sees a man leave the premises

"Eck" the man says, it's JonTron.

Freddy peers into the window to see who his targets are

It's a bunch of dudes and one chick laughing at a screen with moving things on it.

"What a bunch of fucking NERDS" Freddy says to himself, but the people here it, it's the Game Grumps!

"Oh my gosh it's Freddy Fazbear run!" Ross says as they all simultaneously run towards the door.

"Fuck me dude did this really happen?" Arin notices that everyone is jammed into the door frame

"Well I guess we're dead rest in peace everybody" Barry pours one out for the dead homie.

Freddy then conveniently murders the shit out of everyone, but Danny, Kevin, and Arin manage to escape.

Danny and Kevin hide under a table, they hear Freddy get closer to their vicinity.

"This looks like it, Kevin" Danny says, nonchalantly, which is weird for the current situation, he then pushes Kevin out from under the table.

"Here, cretin, take this as sacrifice"

Freddy stares intently into Kevin's eyes

"You're too hot" Freddy says and instead belly flops onto the table, breaking it and crushing Danny, Kevin pours one out for the dead homie before running away.

Arin, on the other side, tries to look for a weapon, as he sees Freddy barreling down the hallway, finds a large array of weapons at his diposal. First, an action figure, he throws it at Freddy, and he shrugs it off like it ain't nothing.

"You a fucking pussy" Freddy tells Arin

"No...you're the pussy you pussy" Arin is intimidated by the huge mechanical bear. He then sees behind Freddy the ultimate weapon.

"Look over there, a sequel!"

"Where I must be in it!" Freddy eagerly looks around, only to realize he's been tricked.

Arin grabs the lightsaber on the shelf and screams an impressive battle cry!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" he screams

"is the first letter of my name"

Freddy then draws the built-in lightsaber

"Never leave home without"

An EPIC lightsaber duel happens, the lightsabers clash multiple times, sometimes Arin is on the offense and sometimes Freddy is on the offense, what a butt clenching battle. Arin, realizing Freddy is an even match, goes for a last resort, he kisses Freddy! whoaa, but his lips get caught in Freddy's wires.

"Oh fucking hell" Arin says muffled.

Freddy bites Arins head off, victory goes to the bear!

"Man this guy tastes like drump"

Freddy radios in to the others

"My work is done homos hit me up when the sequel happens"


	5. Chapter 5

Springtrap begins his hunt for the dastardly let's player. He slowly enters the house and finds a shadowy figure sitting at his computer, screaming loudly at random intervals. He begins his attack, but the mysterious man punches Springtrap powerfully! Springtrap is knocked down in one punch.

"Holy smokes, you're tough" Springtrap is a gentleman

"That's the power of my 38 million (as of August 13th, 2015) subscriber brofist!" It was the Pewdiepie!

"Plus the amount of sequels your dumb games have make me immune to your tricks dumb rabbit dude"

"Alright why the FUCK did I have to get the guy with the most subscribers and immunity to my tricks!" Springtrap finds the situation unfair, but Pewdiepie isn't gonna let Springtrap go away easily, he lays a big ass smackdown on the rabbit fool, brofists being thrown left and right.

"Feel the fury of the combined power of my loyal 13 year old fanbase!" Pewdiepie is taunting the poor fella at this point, he brofists Springtrap through a door, it's his girlfriend Marzia's room, Springtrap holds her hostage.

"Do anything else and she's gonna get it!" Springtrap is a crafty rabbit, except he realizes he has no reason to keep her alive and throws her out the damn window, Pewdiepie pours one out for the dead homie, but his 38 million loyal subscribers come out in retaliation against Springtrap! This is too much fangirling for him.

"Too...many...13 year old fans" Springtrap is on the last of his life, he must think of something quick or his future will be fucked in the ass.

"LOOK!" Springtrap points to an obscure direction.

"Fnaf 5 just got released, and I pet Pewdiepie won't play it enthusiastically!" The fans of the pewds turn against him and they all maul the fuck out of him, Springtrap is victorious (not the show.)

Springtrap radios in

"Ok guys next time I want a less popular dude because I'm fucked up and I now have 38 million annoying fans following me everywhere please send help"

Help was not sent and Springtrap had to deal with the fans for the rest of this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

Now it's finally time for Foxy to shine and kill the final let's player and save the world! Or his job.

Foxy enters the poor chaps house and screams at his face! It's a very loud scream too.

"Oh hey there Foxy! How's it going?" Says the man, unphased by that loud ass scream, is he deaf?

"I'm gonna murder you because the unemployment rate is too much for one animatronic to make through in this world"

"I'm sure there's another way to solve this mess than murdering people, that's not very nice" The man tells Foxy

"Well it's a bit too late for that advice since all the other popular let's players are dead, you're the last one"

Foxy and the man pour one out for the dead homies.

"Well why don't you work for my company, we spraypaint red apples yellow so they look nicer to eat" The man lets out his hand for Foxy

"Yeah sure that sounds easy" Foxy takes the job, and doesn't kill the man, how nice of him.

It's been 3 weeks since Foxy was hired, and he was just recently announced as employee of the month!

"This is fucking bullshit!" Some generic employee says while crumpling his hat and throwing on the ground

"I've been working here for 12 long years, and never have I been employee of the month!" The man gestures to Foxy, and Foxy bites the employees frontal lobe off, looks like he'll never be employee of the month.

The others wonder what is taking Foxy so long.

"What is taking Foxy so long" Chica asks

"Let's radio him in and find out" Bonnie takes out his radio

"Foxy? Are you fucking done yet? Everyone's waiting on you you one-handed fuck" Foxy picks up the radio, the man walks towards him

"What's that in your hand Foxy?"

"Oh, it's nothing" Foxy hands the man the radio, radio's are prohibited at the factory but since the man has a huge boner for Foxy he let's it go and throws the radio in the trash.

"That sounded like the radio went in the trash" Springtraps giant bunny ears aren't just for show.

"Luckily the radios also have plot convenient GPS trackers too" The gang track the radio to the factory.

"A factory?" Freddy is puzzled as to why Foxy is here

"Maybe the let's player also manufactures iPhones in terrible conditions" Chica has a clear bias, Chica, please keep this story neutral to any business parties, we want sponsorships here. The group walk into the factory to see Foxy is working the assembly.

"Yo, Foxy, what are you doing?" Freddy asks Foxy.

"He's working for me now" The man walks out of the shadows he's been standing in after he threw out the radio.

"You, I've seen you before" Springtraps normal eyes are also not for show.

"You're Markiplier!" Markiplier turns on the light because even out of the shadows, it was still hard to distinguish him.

"I see you've all found your way here, well, are you going to savagely kill me like you have everyone else?"

"I mean, yeah, we are" Freddy runs towards Mark but Foxy gets in the way!

"Alright Foxy can you not?" Freddy is really annoyed

"Guys, he's a cool dude, we can all get jobs here and this whole plan won't even matter"

"Foxy that would have been a good offer, if only we didn't already murder all the other guys" Bonnie is committed.

"Yeah, we're shoulders deep in this shit, no turning back"

"If you guys don't have any business here, I ask you to leave" Markiplier gestures them to the door.

"Alright, fine, since the four of us aren't strong enough to take you or Foxy down for some reason, we'll go" The group leaves.

"Wait, we totally could have killed him, fuck" Freddy is not the brightest bear in the forest.


	7. Chapter 7

It's been another 14 katrillion weeks (3 weeks.) Foxy enters Marks office to ask him for something.

"Hey boss guy, can I get a pay raise, 6 weeks and I actually haven't payed at all, I really just want some form of money."

"What are you doing? I told you no employees enter my office!" Mark is angry

"Just don't look at what's behind me, ok?" Mark asks Foxy

"OK" Foxy immediately goes against what he said and runs towards Mark to get a glimpse of what's behind him.

"Now you've gone and done it, Foxy" Mark presses the big red button on his desk, another animatronic in the back of the office begins to violently convulse, and then it's glowing magenta eyes begin to peer through the darkness.

"Meet my new creation, Foxy, it's a new animatronic you can play with" Mark says viciously, you can see the venom spitting out his mouth (metaphorically)

"What's his name?" Foxy asks

"Name?" Mark scratches head "I didn't really think of a name yet"

"How about Napkin?

"Yeah sure I guess that works" Markiplier gets a name tag, writes the word "Napkin" and sticks it onto Napkins body

"Because I'm about to wipe his ass on the floor" Oh! Sick burn Foxy! Foxy attacks Napkin for no reason but is easily overpowered.

"Alright Foxy I didn't even say what I was gonna do with Napkin yet, but he's gonna kill all your friends bye" Mark leaves the office and Napkin jetpack boosts out the other side, leaving a giant hole in the building.

"Well shit, this is not peachy" Foxy runs after Napkin, while running, Foxy realizes Napkin can easily beat the shit out of him and decides to outrun him towards the gang, when he arrives, they're all playing strip poker, but none of them have clothes to begin with?

"Guys! There's an evil new animatronic named Napkin coming to kill all of you, Mark was evil all along you were right sorry I didn't realize sooner the asshole didn't even pay me shit I'm mad as hell" There's a long pause.

"Yeah Foxy I call bullshit on that" Freddy is unamused.

"Fuck off Foxy you're no longer cool." Bonnie says as they all go back to their riveting game of poker. Foxy leaves all sad and shit. A handful of minutes later, Napkin bursts onto the scene.

"I'm here to fuck your day up, and I'm all out of bubblegum!" Napkin proceeds to thoroughly kick everyone's robotic metallic ass.

"Now it is us who fucked up" Chica says and then she kicks the bucket (metaphorically)

"Man we really should have believed in Foxy, when did he ever do us wrong?" Freddy says and then he kicks the bucket (metaphorically)

"I mean, he did us wrong right now, fuck you're dead and now I'm dead too" Bonnie says and then he kicks the bucket (literally)

"I hate that bucket."


	8. Chapter 8

Foxy is sitting on a bench that looks out over a river with a nice, rustic bridge built over it. Foxy throws rocks into the water.

"Well shit, the fuck do I do now" He turns to see what is making such a noise in the distance, it is Mark and Napkin causing a big ruckus. Foxy decides to return to the decrepit house that was their hideout for the time they were in the future, mechanical parts and debris are scattered everywhere, however there is one single drawer that has miraculously survived the whole ordeal. Foxy opens the drawer to see what caused this plot armor, it was the Nickelback CD time machine! He decides to put into a CD player and listen to the tunes.

"This just sounds like me when I scream" Foxy goes to the next song

 _Look at this photograph, every time I do it makes me laugh_

 **USE THE TIME MACHINE**

Foxy is startled. "What in tarnation was that?"

 _How did our eyes get so red? And what the hell is on Joey's head?_

 **RECRUIT ANIMATRONICS FROM THE SEQUELS**

Foxy jumps in surprise again. "This CD is all kinds of messed up, what is going on."

 _And this is where I grew up, I think the present owner fixed it up_

 **LEAD THE MECHANICAL ARMY TO VICTORY**

"Alright fine, holy fucking shit make the subliminal messaging any less subminal." Foxy does what the Nickelback Gods told him to do and travels back to the location of Five Nights at Freddy's 2. Foxy slowly walks around the dark compound.

"Alright, gotta find the animatronics." He hears a faint "Hello" go by him, he turns around to see what it was, but nothing's there.

"Ok this chapter is just all types of voodoo shit." He turns back around to see Balloon Boy.

"Hello" Balloon Boy says.

"Hello, are you an animatronic?"

"Hello" Balloon Boy replies

"Ok well you're coming with me" Foxy picks up Balloon Boy and proceeds to carry him, Balloon Boy is just laughing the whole time.

"Damn your laugh is getting on my nerves." But before Foxy can say anything else, he sees Toy Freddy, Toy Bonnie, Toy Chica, and Mangle.

"Foxy, it's not your cue to be running around, the night hasn't started yet." Toy Bonnie tells him.

"No look, I'm not your universes Foxy, I'm the Foxy from the first game and I need your help so I can kill a let's player with his own evil animatronic and keep my job."

"Well I always love killing things so yeah sure why not." Toy Freddy agrees to the plan and since the games are named after him the others have no say in the matter. Foxy then travels to the Five Night's at Freddy's 3 location, and sees Freddy walking by.

"Yo Freddy I need your help" the Phantom Freddy screams in Foxy's face in disappears

"wow rude" Foxy notices Springtrap now.

"Are you a fucking ghost too?" Foxy asks Springtrap

"Nah B, I'm legit."

"Ok that's great because I need your help to kill Markiplier"

"Man fuck that bitch" Springtrap is easily recruited, Foxy then proceeds to the Five Nights at Freddy's 4 universe to wrap up the plan, he noitces it's just a house.

"Well at least these locations are diverse, good job Scott" Foxy gives a thumbs up to the proverbial camera. Foxy notices Fredbear in a hallway.

"Hey Fredbear I need your help man!" Foxy alerted the kid in his bedroom and Fredbear misses his chance to eat him up

"Fucking Foxy! Wait a minute, you're not the spooky Foxy." Fredbear has a keen eye and a spookometer.

"No I'm not I need your help to kill Markiplier because he's a dingle dongus." Foxy is really lazy about explaining key evidence

"Yeah sure ganging up on a kid is mean anyway." Now that Foxy has recruited an entire army of animatronics, he's finally ready to take down Markiplier once and for all.


End file.
